How to Spot the Single Girl at the Grocery Store:

- She has a Stouffer’s Grilled Vegetable Frozen pizza for one in the basket right under the pint of Haagen Dazs Chocolate Ice Cream.

- Her box of tissues is decorated with flowers…probably pink

- She has the ‘girly-scented’ hand soap with the same decoration as the tissue box.

- She’s holding a ‘Soup for Singles’ recipe in her hand and almost steps on a small child because she is looking for Shitakki mushrooms on the top shelf. When she spots said child, she breaks out in hives. Wait. No. That’s just the sunburn itching.

- She gets the smallest milk possible because there is no way one person can drink a whole half-gallon before it goes bad.

- She has more condiments in her cart than real food.

- She buys 1/2 a dozen eggs instead of the whole dozen.

THE DEAD GIVE AWAY:
Almost all of the items in her basket (she doesn’t need a cart) contain chocolate:

• Chocolate Chip Waffles
• Special K Chocolatey delight cereal
• Chocolate digestives (cookies you eat with tea, but with a layer of chocolate on top)
• Chocolate syrup (to put in milk and on [chocolate] ice cream)
• Chocolate Chip Granola Bars
• Bag of Hershey’s Kisses

This list, of course, is completely hypothetical, and any similarities to real people are entirely coincidental.

Stay tuned later this week for the Belmont Stakes Recap.
Spoiler: Big Brown lost.